It’s that time of year again. We are quickly approaching the last week of October and there are things to discuss. I’m not talking about how to plan your Thanksgiving Menu or decorate your home for the holidays. I’m not here to share advice on how to get the most sugar cookie or pour the parfait Espresso Martini. I’m here to discuss much more serious topics: Halloween candy.
Sure, my candy days may be long behind me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my share of holiday candy every October. Once my neighborhood Duane Reade and Rite Aid stock their shelves with bags of assorted candy, I can’t help but grab one or two. After all, it’s a perk of being an adult. You don’t have to wait and see what treats the neighborhood seniors drop into your pumpkin bucket: you can just walk down the block and buy what you want.
So, without further ado, here is a completely objective (and perfect) ranking of the 10 best Halloween candies on pharmacy shelves.
10. Tootsie Rolls
These babies get a bad rap from candy fans who claim they’re too sticky or boring, but to me they’re the quintessentially nostalgic candy. Right up there, next to those foil-wrapped, strawberry-filled hard candies and Dum-Dums lollipops that were always in the waiting rooms. If a Tootsie Roll is in a candy bowl nearby, I grab it.
9. Sour Gummy Worms
Find a small, individually wrapped package filled to the brim with sour gummy worms? This is a top-notch surprise for a Halloween candy bucket. Julia, how come it’s only number nine? Fantastic question. This is some serious, high-stakes, cut-throat candy ranking, and I have to be ruthless. Next.
8. Bowling
Despite the recent drama surrounding Skittles, I can’t pretend like this isn’t a candy a child would be excited to find in their candy bucket. You know, taste the rainbow and all that.
7. Caramel Apple Lollipops
If you don’t remember those neon green lollipops covered in hardened caramel, I feel bad for you. Sure, it took (what seemed like) hours to eat just one – thanks to its ability to easily chip a tooth or tear off a topping – but once you got through the sticky, sweet caramel layer and hit that sweet and sour apple lollipop, you felt like you had just accomplished the greatest feat of your childhood.
6. Tootsies Pops
Another lollipop worthy of recognition is the Tootsie Pop. I’m not sure if it’s because of the iconic brand – I’ll never forget that cartoon owl testing how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop – or if I just love the candy hard with a soft center, but I’ll never turn one down.
5. Starburst
I shouldn’t have to explain this one. They’re reliable, even the worst flavor (sorry, yellow) is still good, and they’re individually wrapped, which is perfect for Halloween handouts.
4. Risks
When you’re going through your Halloween candy haul and you find a Snickers, even a mini one, you know you’ve been lucky. Great texture, great flavor – no complaints from me.
3. Mounds
All you haters on Almond Joy and Mounds: I don’t want to hear it. How can you not love dark chocolate and coconut? If you don’t agree, you need to grow up.
2. Kit Kat
Light, crispy, perfectly sweet and satisfying to break in half. What else do I need to say?
1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
This shouldn’t surprise anyone. You can’t go wrong with the PB mug in any shape: mini, regular, large mug, pumpkin-shaped, or dipped in white chocolate to look like a ghost. These are the ultimate candy to find in your Halloween bag. Is this unfortunate for anyone with a peanut allergy? Absolutely, and I offer you my sincere condolences.
Honorable mentions: Twix, Twizzlers, Hershey’s Bars (dark chocolate only), Sour Patch Watermelons and M&Ms.
Candy I Never Want to See in a Halloween Bucket: Candy Corn, Circus Peanuts, Smarties, Mike & Ike’s and Raisins/Rasinets.
How would you classify Halloween candy? Let us know in the comments below!
